Wednesday 30 May 2012

Counterpoint

Counterpoint is an exhibition that I am a part of with 20 or so other students from my year at uni. It started on Sunday and it's pretty surreal to be honest. On the Sunday morning I put 40 or so business cards out with my work and when I went in today there was only 2 left. That's pretty insane. It's frightening having people look at my work but luckily I've only heard nice things. It's pretty exciting. 

We had our Private View on Monday and it was actually a really fantastic night. It was a lovely atmosphere and everyone there had only nice things to say (thank god). There were a lot of disagreements in the planning for the exhibition as a whole, so it was lovely to have a nice, relaxed evening of drinking wine and looking at photos.

I'm not sure this blog yet reaches people who don't follow my tumblr or my facebook page but I am just going to add that this exhibition is still on until Saturday (details here) so if you haven't already, come down and have a look, 'cause there's an huge amount of talent.  

Hopefully it's not going to be long until I'm a part of another exhibition. Fingers crossed. 



Tuesday 15 May 2012

~



These are the only photos I got in the gas chamber and the joining crematory at Auschwitz. 

As you go through the door (photographed at the top) there is a plaque which reminds you how many people walked through that very door to their deaths. As soon as I read that I almost turned around and left. I knew from that moment it'd be way too much. I took a breath, and went in, and almost straight away wished I hadn't. Everyone in there is completely silent. There's nothing at all to say. Even our tour guide didn't speak. There's nothing to say about it. It's all right there in front of you, words are completely unneccessary. 

What pierced the silence though, was the sound of singing coming from outside the gas chamber. People from Israel had travelled to Auschwitz to worship and mourn, and the sound of their singing filtered through into the chamber, and in all honesty.. it was the single loudest thing I have ever heard in my whole life. I will never, ever forget that sound and the way it made me feel. I still get chills thinking about it. 

While it's something that I never want to do again, it's also something that I recommend to everyone. I think it's important that everyone sees it and really understands how awful it is first hand. 

Poland!

Now that I am finally done with my uni work for this term, I finally have time to post a blog about my trip to Poland a couple of weeks back. 

The first point I want to make before anything else is that the weather was glorious. After what feels like a billion years in the rain in England, this was a very welcome change. I had to change my outfit minutes after leaving the airport in Krakow because it was so ridiculously warm. 

My initial opinions of Krakow weren't that great in all honesty. Sophie and I got on a ridiculously crowded train in the boiling hot and when we got off we weren't that sure where we were, all we knew is that there was a lot of building work going on. We found a McDonald's and grabbed some food (typical Brits) and couldn't actually find a patch of grass to sit on to eat. However when we made our way towards the Old Square where our hostel was located, we ended up walking through some lovely parks and past some beautiful buildings. 

Krakow's Old Square is beautiful, and much like in Prague, they have a clock tower which chimes every hour and is followed up by a short trumpet solo by a man in the tower. Pretty much one of my favourite things in the world. 

The first day was pretty much just taking it easy, getting a feeling for the place and Sophie getting started on her photos (because the reason we were there was so she could do her uni project). We climbed a tower and saw a giant statue of a head (just a head.. on it's side.. not sure of the significance) and then went and sat in the Hard Rock Cafe with a beer. Pretty much the perfect start to the holiday. We also stopped in a Magritte exhibition, but it wasn't quite as awesome as either of us had hoped. 




We were also going to get a start on the night life, starting with some Mexican food, but a (ridiculously funny oh my god I'm a terrible person) fall from Sophie led us right back to the Hostel. To be honest it was a good thing we had an early night. I slept like the DEAD. And Sophie took the opportunity to plan out the next day. Amazingly, we stuck to it really, really well and it was a brilliant day. 

After sampling some of the local cuisine (pizzas on baguettes instead of pizza base, a speciality, apparently. Also, awesome) we took a wonder towards the castle, after getting caught up in a parade. I'm not sure exactly what the parade was for but Sophie's guide book informed us that it was something very patriotic. 



The castle was beautiful, but incredibly busy. We took a wonder around there and before long ended up having to sit in the shade and drink lots and lots of water (did I mention that the weather was seriously amazing?) It wasn't all bad though because we ended up going back after a slight camera malfunction so that Sophie could capture everything digitally in case her film camera had decided not to play nicely. It was also at this count my nun count got a lot more interesting. Usually most places I go I count dogs (habit, don't know why, kind of started on my last day in Prague because we saw SO MANY dogs!) but on the first day in Poland we'd seen about 6 nuns and only 1 dog. 6 nuns was more nuns that I'm pretty sure I'd ever seen in my life, hence the count began. There was a monastery at the castle, so my count went from 19 to 47 in a matter of minutes (final count 68). 

We also went and visited an old Jewish Synagogue and graveyard in Kazimierz. We had to tie material around our shoulders and legs as a sign of respect (as modelled by Sophie) 
and ended up getting looked down on by some Irish woman for having to do so in the first place (to which Sophie said "We're obviously English Jezebels" and caused probably too much laughter for inside the walls of a graveyard). 

It was really beautiful though. The Synagogue not so much, because it was undergoing some reconstruction or something, so the scaffolding kind of ruined the atmosphere of the place, but the graveyard was really quiet and all of the graves had stones on them. I still haven't looked into the meaning of this, but it was something that we also saw on the train carriage that we saw when we visited the Birkenau concentration camp the next day. 



Also there was a wall, made up of broken Jewish tombstones, which also had little stones on it, placed where ever people could get them. 



We stopped in at the Jewish museum as well not long after this (I think, it was such a long day I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what we did and in what order) and saw some really good exhibitions. The permanent exhibition is called Traces of Memory which was a "contemporary look at the Jewish past in Poland". It was actually incredibly powerful and made me think quite a lot. Also, one section of it was focused on Auschwitz and Birkenau which made me incredibly nervous for our excursion the next day. 

The other exhibition we looked at was called "Poland and Palestine: Two Lands and Two Skies" which were a series of images by Zeev Aleksandrowicz. Despite the fact they just seemed like photographs of his friends, they were actually really wonderful. The Magritte exhibition we'd seen the day before was similar, but the photos didn't have the same kind of spark as the ones in this exhibition and they were really, really wonderful to look at. 

Lunch was superb. We had it a little later because we kept stopping off at various places, but we ended up in a place called Bagel Mama. Unfortunately, it is the only Bagel Mama in the world. I'm waiting for a day that it becomes a world wide chain so I can eat it where ever I go. And I didn't even think I liked bagels. But seriously... tuna melt with pesto on a garlic bagel... I can think of nothing better. And it truly was wonderful. 



We kind of slowed down after this. We got yelled at by some Polish girls who we think were trying to talk to us but we weren't sure what they were saying and we also weren't sure they were being friendly so we walked on with the excuse of a language barrier (once again, typical Brits). This is when we went back to the Castle, and also this time got to opportunity to climb the tower that there was too many people queuing for the first time we went. It's quite sad that for some reason in Poland you don't actually go outside at the top of the tower, you're just in the top of the building and there was 6 tiny windows to look out of. Despite that though the view was incredible. 

We also had a view of a fair and the river, so it wasn't long before we were down there, sipping on some Tisky and chatting about pretty much everything and debating whether or not to go on one of the boats (we didn't in the end, neither of us wanted to stand up in order to go and ask about prices etc), leaving when the mosquito's made their appearance. 

We ended up having dinner in a little vegetarian cafe that I can't remember the name of but was very, very yummy. We did have a case of eyes-bigger-than-belly when we decided after our main to have a side of garlic bread supposedly before pudding. What we didn't realise is that the side of garlic bread could have sustained both of us as a main and so we didn't have room for a pudding (or half the bread!!) but it was still nice regardless. 

We also got a first taste of the night life. We ended up in Kazimierz again, because we'd seen a little bar earlier called Alchemia, and it looked nice. It really was. It was nice and relaxed and I finally started drinking vodka and mixers (because I'm not particularly a beer drinker so it was all getting a bit too much for me). Also, behind the table we were at there was what we thought was a cupboard. That was until about four people stepped out of it. Turns out it was the door to a smoking area but I'm pretty sure it was designed like that to be sneaky and confuse tourists. It succeeded. 


There was also supposedly a place that was designed to be Alice in Wonderland themed (or 'down the rabbit hole' to be more specific) but it really wasn't so we lasted all of five minutes there before ending up somewhere that looked like the inside of a cave. We called it a night after that because as much as I don't thing we wanted to admit it, we were ridiculously tired (and we wanted to beat the Germans-who-never-stopped-showering back to our hotel so we could actually get in the bathroom and have showers of our own (shared hostel bathroom)).

The next day we went to the Photography museum. There was a really wonderful Arno Fischer exhibition there and the photos were just wonderful. There was also some Sibylle Bergemann polaroids which made me actually want to cry with how absolutely beautiful they were. I strongly recommend taking a look into her work if you haven' before, because they are really beautiful.

It was in the afternoon that we took our trip to Auschwitz. We only paid 90zloti each, and that got us an English speaking tour around Auschwitz and Auschwitz II-Birkenau as well as the transport there and back. It was also pretty nice that there were only 6 people in total on our tour, so it's not like you're stuck in a massive group (despite the fact there were a lot of giant groups there, which kind of takes away from the atmosphere of the whole place). 




The displays of things belonging to the people in the camp were absolutely mind blowing. One of the things that really got me was a the case of hair. An absolutely unbelievable amount of hair, and it was terrifying seeing the way  that some of it was still plaited. It's awful just to think about now. 



We also saw the 'Wall of Death' which was, again, horrifying. You can also see the way the windows of the buildings alongside it have been boarded up, because the Nazi's wanted to have an element of mystery about punishments. Just seeing it from where we did was horrifying and it's awful to think of the things that happened there. I'm running out of things to say about it because there literally are no words. 






I'm going to have a seperate post about the gas chambers (here) because this post is getting long enough, and I still have a lot of feelings about the whole thing and I just... I feel like it stands so much better alone because I've never felt anything like I felt in there. So.. moving on from that we left there and got on the bus to Birkenau. One thing I will say, not so much about Birkenau, but about Auschwitz, is how close it is to the town. I imagine that we'd go through the town of Oswiecim and then drive for a while longer before actually getting to the camp, but it was actually so, so close. It was almost frightening. 

But from what I remember, Birkenau was further out (though not really far away). The first thing we did when we got there was go up to the watch tower. From there you can see the entire camp. The scale of it is absolutely amazing (not amazing good, amazing bad, obviously) and standing there, and looking out of the window out at the train track and the area where people were sorted into men and women/children and then sorted into those who were fit to work, and those who'd be sent straight to death, was a really long moment. You honestly don't really take in what you're seeing. It hits you hours later and I actually felt sick for about a whole day and a half just thinking about it. 



After that, we took a walk into one of the barracks. It was the one with the 'toilets' in it. In reality, they were just cement boxes, with holes in the top. We were told about how the people in the camps were only allowed to use the toilets once a day, in the morning and at night and only a 5 minute window in order to do it. There wasn't nearly enough toilets for the amount of people who'd need it. We were told about how awful the smell was (obviously) and how getting the job of cleaning out the toilets was one of the best jobs you could get because, despite the smell, you pretty much had any opportunity to go to the toilet, because you're with them all day, and you were never guarded, because the Nazi's didn't want to go near them because of the smell. It's an awful idea, that cleaning out a massive mutual toilet would be one of the best. 


We also went into one of the barracks were people would sleep. It was one of the women's barracks and we were told that about 800 people would be forced to live together in one barrack. There were 7 of us with our group, and another tour of maybe about 30 people.. and it already felt too crowded. 



After that we took a walk along the train track, up to one of the train cars. We stood exactly where people were 'sorted'. But like I said.. you don't realise it. To me, the Holocaust is already too awful to believe it's real anyway, let alone actually being there. 




All in all, the Poland was a really great trip. It's sad that we didn't get to spend more time there, but the time we did have was awesome. It's somewhere I'd definitely like to see again. 

I'm not really sure how else to end this blog post so here have a lame obligatory tourist photo of me outside the castle. Also, it'd be cool if you could go and give my FACEBOOK a like or even follow this blog. I also have a FLICKR SET of all the photos I took on this trip. Thaaanks. 


Oh! Also! Go take a look at Sophie's book on blurb (I will also drop the cheeky hint that it is available for sale too) because this was essentially the whole reason behind the trip, and it really is a lovely book. 

Tuesday 1 May 2012

srs bznz bznz cards

I've ordered my first 50 ever business cards! It's the weirdest thing. I genuinely never imagined that I would ever be the kind of person or have the kind of job where I needed business cards

I'm very excited about it though, and I'm really happy with the design. I can't wait to see how they come out.


Other news? I leave for the airport in seven and a half hours. This time tomorrow I'm gonna be in Poland! Aah! It's gonna be awesome, Sophie has loads of awesome sounding plans. We're definitely not going to be bored. 

Sunday 29 April 2012

24 of 420 photos selected.

News news news.

Firstly, I photographed another gig last night. LOST? played the Waterfront Studio in Norwich, and I got sent there by Sound Norfolk to pick up a photopass and get some snaps, but it turns out you didn't even need a photopass since there was no barrier at this particular gig. It also turns out that I am way too short to photograph at a gig where there is no barrier. Something to remember in future.

Regardless, I had a good time and I got some pretty okay shots, which is not only progress towards a future portfolio but also to my uni work.






[see the rest on my flickr]

Secondly, as a part of our current uni project we have to make a self promotional package including portfolios and websites and business cards and even this blog etc. Currently trying to motivate myself to start on a website, but in lieu of that, I have also set up a shiny new facebook page, and it'd be awesome if I could get some likes

Lastly, I head off to Poland on Wednesday morning with one of my best friends, Sophie. It's for her uni project, so I'm really just going along for the adventure, but it's definitely not an opportunity that I was ever going to turn down. I'm very excited about it, about getting out of the UK for a while and experiencing somewhere new. I love travelling, and me and Sophie always have some pretty rad adventures. No doubt there'll be a big ol' blog about it when I get home on Saturday. 



Thursday 26 April 2012

21.4.12: Twin Atlantic, Lower than Atlantis, ME


I photographed my first gig last week! Considering it was something I'd never done before there was a lot of nerves before hand which was not helped when I made it to the venue and my name was not on the list for a photopass. Momentary panic ensued, but luckily the people at the venue and the people who work with the band were awesome and got me one anyway (after I showed them the email I got from Sound Norfolk etc.)

I'm still not sure if I was supposed to be photographing during the first band, ME, but the security let me out in front of the stage and the lighting was way easier to work with (considering it was just the first support band) so I wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

As it went, they were the easiest band to photograph, of the three. I don't kid myself that "I'm just a natural". I know it was because the lighting was easier to work with but it really did boost my confidence for the rest of the night which was something that I really, really needed before hand. Especially when I found things a little bit more difficult later on in the night, I knew that I still had the confidence from the photos this band.


The second band, Lower than Atlantis, I got hardly any decent photos of. The lighting was really strange and there was a whole lot of strobe lighting going on and it made me panic, and on top of that the confusion and panic I kept getting the manual settings wrong, sending shutter speeds the wrong way and not doing myself any favours. On top of that there was a second photographer there that time, which again, poor excuse, but it was another reason for me to feel uncomfortable and I kept distracting myself and being hyper aware of the fact that I could have been in his way. Which was completely ridiculous because there was actually a pretty mutual appreciation for space. I just need to man up. Hopefully next time I get a chance to photograph a gig I can keep my cool.


Twin Atlantic went a lot better. None of the photos came out totally sharp, which was a little annoying, but I really like the way I composed them and it gives me hope for the next time, which hopefully won't be far off. I don't really have a lot more to say about that though, because it was the first time that I finally managed to focus myself, and let my mind go totally blank just so I wouldn't let myself get distracted by lights or other photographers, or even the crowd behind me (at 5'1, I've never, ever felt like a giant before!!) 

At this point, I'm just really, really grateful to have gotten the opportunity. This is something I've wanted to do since I decided to get into photography and to finally have gotten the chance is really, really exciting. I'm really looking forward to, hopefully, having a future in it and getting the chance to improve and improve. 

I'm also really looking forward to seeing my photos on the Sound Norfolk website. Seeing my photos on the internet, on a website other than one that I've set up is something that I'm very much looking forward to (if we can figure out why the website isn't letting me upload them to the site). 

 [Flickr set of my best images from the night]





Tuesday 17 April 2012

Getting started

The first time I really freaked out and started to question what I was doing was in the third term of my second year. 


We'd just started looking at contexts of our photos, and markets they could sit in, and I didn't really understand it. I did research and took photos with pretty much no direction and they had no relevance to anything. I was confused at the time as to why I got a terrible mark. 
Looking back, I get it. And now, after two terms of just scraping by, but improving steadily, I'm starting to get what is needed of me. 


Pretty good attempt for a whole year on, huh? 


But I'm getting there. I think I'm starting to find my feet and start thinking about what I want to do after uni.

Currently, I'm in my last term of my second year. We're doing a project that is focused very heavily on marketing. It's not something that particularly interests me. But I've managed to find a subject matter I'm enthusiastic about shooting. 


I want to go into music photography. I want to take photos at gigs and capture the energy I love when I'm there. I want to capture candid's and take the photos that end up on a music lovers wall. I want my work on the cover of an album or a single. So for this term, while limiting myself to advertising for a music magazine (dependant on getting emails back from my market research that is), I'm finally letting myself make music photography fit. 


This blog is most likely going to start out as a series of fumblings and ramblings as I try and find my feet, but hopefully one day will become somewhere that I can update with news of my latest projects and things coming up in the future. 


Fingers crossed.